Thank You

Should I thank you
for being in my life?
You came at the most
inopportune time.
You dashed in and blew me away...
and yet I must say
that you make me happy.

Will I one day
regret meeting you?
Will you be just like
all those before you...
Who tried to turn my life
into a copy of theirs.
Sucking my energy,
draining my brain...

When did my soul become a buffet?
For everyone to pick at,
for everyone to take?
Is there any left for me?
Do I have the right to be?

When did I loose my self?
Where did it take place?
If I go back there,
will I find myself?
I need to know who I am...
Does anyone know who I am?

Need I tell you?
Can't you see?
I'm jaded to the point
of equanimity...
There's no mystery.
Everything feels
like a memory.

What will I think of you
six months from now?
Will you still be
a polite and gentle soul?
Or will you tear out my heart too?
Can I put my trust in you?

Life has all the answers
and they will be revealed
at the proper time,
and not when we see fit.

And that's not a moment sooner,
and not a moment later,
than the moment that we realize
that life is just a game.

 

Carmen Colombo
April 1996

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