Air Temperatures
60 degrees - Californians put their sweaters on.
50 degrees - Miami residents turn on the heat.
45 degrees - Vermont residents go to outdoor concert.
40 degrees - You can see your breath, Californians shiver
uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming.
35 degrees - Italians cars don't start.
32 degrees - Water freezes.
30 degrees - You plan your vacation in Australia.
25 degrees - Ohio water freezes, Californians weep pitiably,
Minnesotans eat ice cream, Canadians go swimming.
20 degrees - Politicians begin to talk about the homeless, New
York City water freezes, Miami residents plan vacation farther
south.
15 degrees - French cars don't start, cat insists on sleeping in
your bed with you.
10 degrees - You need jumper cables to get the car going.
5 degrees - American cars don't start.
0 degrees - Alaskans put on T-shirts.
-10 degrees - German cars don't start, eyes freeze shut when you
step outside.
-15 degrees - You can cut your breath and use it to build an
igloo, Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects, Miami residents
cease to exist.
-20 degrees - Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you,
politicians actually do something about the homeless, Minnesotans
shovel snow off roof, Japanese cars don't start.
-25 degrees - Too cold to think, you need jumper cables to get
the driver going.
-30 degrees - You plan a two week hot bath, Swedish cars don't
start.
-40 degrees - Californians disappear, Minnesotans button top
button, Canadians put on sweater, your car helps you plan your
trip south.
-50 degrees - Congressional hot air freezes, Alaskans close the
bathroom window.
-80 degrees - Polar bears move south, Green Bay Packer (and
Buffalo Bills) fans order hot cocoa at the game.
-90 degrees - Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.
-100 degrees - Hell freezes over, Clinton finally tells all.
Special thanks to Martin Stone for
this submission
Jan 99